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We didn’t give women the right to vote (in the U.S.) until 1920. …That means American Democracy is 94 years old. There are three people in my building older than American democracy. Women have had a rough time. It was so okay to beat your wife until so recently, that today we have a kind of shirt named after it. There’s a piece of clothing in our culture affectionately nicknamed after beating the crap out of your wife, and for some reason this is offensive to nobody. – Louis CK monologue (via sonnyjohnson)


I only want to wear underwear and a crown all day



So yesterday I got bored so I made a Facebook account for an egg


And I friended a bunch of my friends and some strangers and posted some really dumb Facebook updates


And people started messaging me so I responded


And one person proposed to me


And then she blocked me so I made a status about it


Holy shell I need a life

why does an Egg have better social life than me

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